I Love Tony DeAngelo About As Much As Gas Station Sushi. If Not More.

The recent dust up surrounding Tony DeAngelo and the Carolina Hurricanes has Canes social media in a FRENZY. Name calling, bullying, metrics being thrown in faces, gauntlets dropped, GIFs with varying degrees of clarity shared as if the whole world understands. Everyone thinks they are right, while the rest of us numbskulls know nothing of reality, hockey, politics, or the hidden price of 3 for 1 gas station sushi. For some reason, like fine dining options found in our nations service stations, I love it.

Will it matter what any of us say?

Might as well call Gwen Stefani cause NO DOUBT, it won’t

I’ll make the boldest statement I’ve made here at Cardiac Canes right off the bat. I don’t love his political stances.

Snowflake, I am not. I just like tie dye shirts too much (conservatives in Grateful Dead shirts and Chacos just don’t look the part), the music is better (Ted Nugent has never been my favorite), and the books I’ve read (religious or otherwise) just won’t let me NOT empathize and sympathize with other people in the world.

But that’s not why I am less than thrilled about him.

Really…..Politics has 0.00 to do with it.

I mean…ok…I’ll be honest.

Sure, he voted for a President that history will rank somewhere around James Buchannan and Millard Filmore as one of the easiest to forget they received an electoral vote. If this particular former president’s legal issues go as it appears they will, he will rank up there with Richard M. Nixon, William Jefferson Clinton and Raleigh’s own Andrew Johnson in the voting for “Presidents Most Likely To Be Tried In Court” at the former presidents table in the lunchroom.

I am a historian, among other things, by training. I can just about assure this.

He might or might not have denied the existence of a virus that shut down and limited his ability to (rightly or wrongly) conduct his profession, and…oh…killed a large swath of people across the human race.

But…hey to quote the philosopher Jeffrey Lebowski “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man”

No there are wholly unpolitically related reasons there will be no love lost on Tony DeAngelo in a Carolina Hurricanes sweater.

First, I don’t love Tony DeAngelo because he is a defensive liability.

As many Hurricanes “fun”dits pointed out “Not all goals are on the goalie.” If Carolina’s defense is not able to count on solid netminding (and with Andersen between the pipes that is a crapshoot) one more break down in front of the goalies, is one too many.

Secondly, he is redundant out of the box.

As last season showed, the Hurricanes love an offensive minded defense. Carolina’s reliance on defensemen to contribute to the goal total worked well too. Maybe even too well.

Brent Burns, Jaccob Slavin, and increasingly Jalen Chatfield (whom I apparently would also not agree with politically), however, make the case for the Carolina Hurricanes needing another goal scoring defensemen like they need a fourth goalie.

(They don’t BTW. They don’t need one of the three they have but that’s another article)

Carolina already has everything they might pick up with another defensemen, especially if that player comes in the form of Tony D.

“But he will lead the struggling power play” many online have decried.

“If talk of weak power plays is a joke enough to make it into Slap Shot, you need new material.” is my reply.

Even if Philadelphia pays half his salary just to produce on the power play, it is hardly worth the extra couple of goals he might score. The power play was NOT Tony DeAngelo away from greatness, nor was it bad enough to pull in one player JUST to lead one of the two units.

Then there is the matter of hockey related off ice problems that have nothing to do with his political beliefs.

If you really need someone who has been suspended for fighting his teammates, remarks to other players OR being benched on his last team, then sure. Tony DeAngelo is you dude.

Finally there is the tempting of fate, and the universe here. Tony DeAngelo did ok with Carolina. Maybe even better. Rod Brind’Amour got out of him more than any coach had before or has since. Is that a testament to RBA? Absolutely!

Is that a harbinger of what TDA would produce a second time in Carolina. 

Simply put. No.

Less simply put but equally nuanced.

Do you keep buying gas station sushi if it doesn’t send you to the hospital the first time?

Facts in support of the contrary have not stopped those who love and loathe Tony DeAngelo from taking to Hurricanes social media.

Not really taking too much of my attention (At the Durham Public Library Saturday, I found a really awesome book called The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek which has been on my “To Read” list for a minute) I still love the hullabaloo raised.

Even writing this article hasn’t really cleared it up why I am so interested in this mess…I just am

Yesterday’s exchange between two Carolina Hurricanes “fun”dit powerhouses in particular caught my attention.

One podcast of notable accomplishment posted their excitement about the impending move on DeAngelo. What podcast, I will decline to (out of professional courtesy) divulge but it ends in a “T”.

Another Hurricanes “fun”dit site questioned their fascination with TDA.

It was on like a prom dress and off like Donkey Kong after that!

(If you are so inclined to join the tomfoolery click HERE)

There were witty retorts. High ground was piously claimed, lost, and reclaimed.

Shakespeare cannot hold a candle to this drama, nor should he attempt the feat. James Patterson might have been able to muster something on par, if the wind was blowing right and his ghostwriter was having a good day.

One site even boasted of finally being “bullied” by the other. Like it was a badge of honor, which is oddly interesting.

(For a site that everyone hates, it sure is possible for a particular site to get under skins)

It was a hoot and a half to watch, and I’ll admit I joined in just for a little excitement. Rain kept the Most Junior Hurricanes Reporter and me inside yesterday. It wasn’t like we could be out “touching grass,” collecting acorn tops, or practicing what he learned at swim lessons.

(Why is “touch some grass” a thing? Who came up with it?)

It was dumb. It was pointless. Everyone was completely wrong.  No one really won, despite victory claimed by both. Losers were hard to identify, but one commenter used profanity which is usually the sign of high breeding, school, and intellect.

It’s fun lasted about as long as it took to read this article. Or as long as it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.

What impact this tiny, pithy back and forth made on Don Waddell’s decision making process, I cannot say. I would like to hope, DW was still pondering this as he went to bed last night.

However, if pressed for an estimate, I would say somewhere between none at all, and not any.

When the neon signs are turned off and the $.99 hot dogs end their perpetual roll; the Carolina Hurricanes are going to do whatever they are going to do about Tony DeAngelo.

He is not really worth the points he will give up. Certainly not worth the headaches he might well cause for the Hurricanes on and off the ice. Even if Carolina gets him for half price, just like sushi at a gas station, there is a reason it’s on sale.

That’s my take. And you can take it straight home with your Kwiki Shoppe Spice Tuna Roll currently on sale 3 for 1 or 2 for half price.