An Open Letter To Canadiens Fan Randy F. Who Hates The Hurricanes

Mar 7, 2023; Montreal, Quebec, CAN; Carolina Hurricanes forward Jesperi Kotkaniemi (82) takes a shot on net and Montreal Canadiens forward Jonathan Drouin (27) defends during the third period at the Bell Centre. Mandatory Credit: Eric Bolte-USA TODAY Sports
Mar 7, 2023; Montreal, Quebec, CAN; Carolina Hurricanes forward Jesperi Kotkaniemi (82) takes a shot on net and Montreal Canadiens forward Jonathan Drouin (27) defends during the third period at the Bell Centre. Mandatory Credit: Eric Bolte-USA TODAY Sports /

Dear Canadians Fan Rand F.,

On behalf of All Carolina Hurricanes fans, we hear you.

Canadiens fan Randy, we hear that you hate we replaced the Hartford Whalers. We’re not fortunate enough to have pulled for the Canes for 50 years as you have with your Canadiens. Since Hurricanes have only been in existence for 25 years that would be mathematically impossible.

But maybe in another 25 years, right?!?

Randy of the long-standing Habs fan’s nature, we hear you in your hatred of Carolina’s drafting. It has been better than others, but not as good as some. The Hurricanes have also, however, had several picks that did not pan out for whatever reason or another. I am sure the Canadiens have had both as well. One key factor you might have forgotten in your hatred is the fabulous relationship the Carolina Hurricanes have with the Chicago Wolves of the American Hockey League.

Several fantastic players have come up from that organization as well as the Charlotte Checkers who the Hurricanes used to affiliate with in the AHL. A strong AHL affiliation and some good drafting might well do the for the Canadians. None the less, Randy who was a Habs fan before I was born, we hear you.

50 year Canadians fan Randy, we hate that you are still reliving a penalty from 2006. Canes players have had several of those not go their way either. Person to person, I can only say that living in the past is never good. Maybe letting by gone be by gone might make you feel better.

Randy who is a dedicated Montreal Canadiens fan, we hear you when you say you hate the Storm Surge. Many Hurricanes fans do to, but that is not the case with all Hurricanes fans. Maybe the Habs should come up with something to celebrate their wins. I think that would give you something to cheer for and replace the hatred of our celebrations.

Or perhaps you can get in touch with Don Cherry and both of the can commiserate in your hatred of celebrations. But still dedicated Habs fan Randy, we hear you.

Randy who has been a Canadiens fan longer than I have been alive, we hear when you say you hate someone’s last name and it’s spelling. Last names are hard like that, but something many people take pride in. Especially in their eccentricities. Maybe as a resident of Montreal, you have grown tired of the complexities and complicated nature of the French language as Brind’Amour is (I am not expert) likely French. I am sorry. There is really nothing anyone can do about Rod Brind’Amour’s last name or its spelling. We still hear your hatred Randy who has been cheering for the Canadiens longer than some marriages.

And whilst on the subject of names, we hear you Randel, can we call you Randel The Habs fan? Or would you prefer Canadian Randy? Either way. Nicknames are funny in that you never really get to pick them. I have had several unfortunate nicknames over the course of my time on this earth, and not one have I picked. If you were to drive to my hometown, several people would refer to me by some less that favorable nicknames, but as Carolina Hurricanes fans go, or at least this Carolina Canes fan, we will only refer to you as some combination of Randy, Fan, Habs or Canadians. Still, from the great white north that is our neighbor Canada, we hear you.

Dear Habs Fan Randy, we hear you on the extra money on KK’s contract. That $20 extra dollars likely did not do that much or go that far. Maybe an extra half a tank of gas or maybe a cheap trip to the store. I hope he put it to good use like saving for his kid’s college fund or a favourite charity. (Do Canadians use the extra U like the British?) But maybe there is a reason KK wanted to add it. Again, that is in the past and there is very little we as humans in the present can do about it now, but Randy….by golly as a Habs fan, we as Canes fans hear you!

As fans as Svech’s Michigans, Randy who is a fan Canadiens Hockey fan and has been for a long long time, we hear you and your hatred. We hear you loud and clear. It’s a low chance shot and really only works on bad goalies. But we hear you none the less.

Randy, who has thankfully lived more than died as a Canadiens fan, the live and die Hurricanes fans hear you when you say you hate Brent Burns’ Kit-Kat commercial. It is sorta goofy, and pokes fun at his lacking front teeth. Maybe you should take a break in your hatred of such goofiness and break yourself off a piece of a Kit-Kat bar, but if you need to hang on to, by all means you do that dear Randy of the Habs fan variety. We hear your hatred.

Habs fan Randy the hater of numbers in the 80’s, we hear you. Maybe you have a childhood trauma involving a number in the 80’s. If that is the case, I am deeply sorry. It is terrible whatever happened to you. We hear your hatred of number in the 80’s. One question though, is it 80’s you hate? Or the numbers 8, and 0? Just want to be as sensitive to your hatred as we can be. Or is it forwards AND 80’s? Habs Fan Randy, we heard your hatred of our front line in the 80’s none the less.

As for the Staals, and their scoring in Montreal, Canadiens Fans Randy, there is nothing much we as the Carolina Hurricanes fan base can do about their scoring. Maybe defense should be a priority in the Canadians drafting, but that is not up to us. Either way we hear you.

One issue, neither you my friend Habs Fan Randy…as I see we have become friends over the course of this letter….or I can change the spelling of Raleigh. If you are not aware, our system of government often is painfully slow to change, and something like the capitol of a state (roughly equivalent to a providence in Canada) like Raleigh is nearly impossible. I wish there was more we could do about this, as someone who is terrible about spelling, but I am sorry my buddy Habs fan Randy. But as with all these other complaints, we heard your hatred loud and clear, all the way in Raleigh.

Finally, mi amigo senor Canadiens fan Randy. KK’s mole. I learned as a younger person, that while it is hard to not notice someone’s facial features, especially when it is something different, but not to remark about them. It’s just good manners. Of all your comments, this is the one that I cannot abide.

With the exception of the comment on a young man’s appearance our dear live and die for 50 years Canadiens fan Randy who hates the Carolina Hurricanes….we heard you. We heard your hatred and displeasure in our team. And that’s ok Randy of the Canadiens fan type.

We heard it, and we send our love.


Carolina Hurricanes Fans

P.S Did I spell Montreal correctly? No apostrophes or anything? And I hope you don’t mind me calling you Canadian Randy F. in the future.