Ah yes, the Finns. The heart and soul of the Carolina Hurricanes. These magical elves are probably the ones bringing in all the holiday cheer with them. But that doesn’t mean they do not deserve their own holiday gifts! So what do you get for the guys who can make their own brand of magic each and every night?
Erik Haula: A Robotic Knee
We can rebuild him. We have the technology. While he might not be the $21 million dollar man Sebastian Aho is, Erik Haula is absolutely worth the value of rebuilding his knee with some robotics. We don’t need to turn him into robocop or the terminator, just enough where he can still storm the crease and play in the dirty areas that kept getting him goals early in the season.
The only true issue with this concept might be how the NHL feels about the first robotically enhanced player. Hockey is for everyone, but I don’t think this is what the league had in mind. Perhaps some non-robotic healthy repairs to his knee might be a better choice.
Teuvo Teravainen: Visor Wiper Blades
We have ALL seen him do this. You know what I am talking about. Yes the wiping of the visor with the finger or thumb. Use a damn towel Turbo! If you have no idea what we are talking about take a very exclusive look right here:
What are you doing man?! I tell you what, for this holiday season we are getting you a visor with build-in wiper blades on the inside that all you have to do is tap the side of your helmet like you are cyclops about to laser-beam wolverine for not shutting up and it will wipe the inside of your visor like a damn etch-a-sketch eraser. Keep your fingers in your gloves guy.
Sebastian Aho: A lifetime Contract
Sebastian Aho has four more seasons after this one on his contract before he becomes a free agent. But chances are it will never come to that. With the money saved in the final few season of his contract, watch Don Waddell and Tom Dundon give him the contract of his lifetime. For now all we can do is promise him it will be a contract worth a lifetime.
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- The Southeast Rookie Showcase Will Be a Good Look at Carolina’s Future
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There is no reason to think that Aho will not retire after spending his entire career in Carolina. By that time he will have a southern twang and a diet that is mostly BBQ, Cornbread, and grits. He might also have a huge family going through the hockey system as the Ahos take over the NHL one team at a time.
So there you have it folks, gifts for all your favorite forwards. Now I know I missed guys who spent a little time on the team like Brian Gibbons, but to be fair, their gifts are waiting for them down in Charlotte. No double dipping!
Question for CC Readers: What gifts would you get your favorite forwards this Holiday season?