Hot Take Alert: All Hot Takes Are Created Equal And Yours Is Too

Here is a hot take. Yours are not a gift from the gods. They are not. They probably won’t ever be. Be real with yourself. It’s ok. Mine are not any better. They are not worse, but not better. I know they aren’t. I’m aiming for a brief chuckle when I’m lucky to come up with something remotely funny, and originally worded.

What am I talking about?

The boon of all social media dwellers that follows a sport or sports team. The “hot take.” You know, when someone on social media says something they think is controversial and wants people to back them up so they seem uber smart about the team/ or element of the team. Or maybe they’re real sociopath and want someone to argue with them. If that’s your idea of fun, good for you, but please get yourself some help.

Either way, hot takes abound on social media, especially around sports. Those get amped to 110 when the team gets in the playoffs like the Carolina Hurricanes currently are.

Taking a quick survey of Carolina Hurricanes social media, and I occasionally do, I lost count of how many people boast “hot takes” in their podcast profiles, episode intros, or just typical postings. Everyone seems to think they have a corner on the hot take market. Theirs are hotter, or they have more, or they have the most and the hottest.

Yet, these “hot takers” are very often the exact people shouting down others when the narrative is not to their liking.

Prime example:

As Frederik Andersen was folding like a tent at the end of the regular season, I was given to posting disparaging articles (supported with my feeble attempts at statistical research), and social media posts towards “The Great Dane.” Even now, I am not going to back down that Andersen has played like a middle rate back-up goalie and thankfully is not playing in the playoffs.

In voicing my frustration, I somehow drew the attention of a particular hot taker who ardently defended Andersen even though I supported my stance with stats. Eventually this back and forth was posted on their feed. I can only assume this was an attempt to pull in more support and prove their position correct.

Comments were made about my only writing for Cardiac Canes, which apparently means that I am automatically wrong. As puzzling as that is to me, I ignore these, besides proving me “wrong” and $5 will get you some coffee at a coffee bar.

Andersen’s next start, the very same person was essentially repeating what was said in my frustration which leads me to feel like I need to repeat myself. Your hot take is not a gift from the hot take gods. 

And that is ok.

I don’t expect anyone to be impressed with mine. Don’t expect me to be impressed with yours

If my hot take moves a needle, cool. If it doesn’t, cool

At the end of the day, this pandering for a brief smirk or chuckle is all we can do with our hot takes unless you come up with something REALLY original. Maybe “Jordan Martinook is a Canadian spy sent here to uncover the secret to Eastern NC BBQ.” Until you are breaking news as journalist covering the Carolina Hurricanes, you’re not going coming up with anything very original. And if you are a journalist covering the Carolina Hurricanes, you’re not going to be spewing anything too hot because you are a professional.

Also, I would beg anyone to define a “cold take.” There are facts, but that’s not what we’re talking about here.

So since there isn’t such a thing as a “cold take” there really cannot be anything like a hot take, let’s cut the crap. Especially if someone backs up their statements with evidence. Unless you just really like arguing on social media, there really is no need to argue hot takes with people.

Anyone is welcome to yell back and forth about whatever they want to on social media, but we need to live by the adage “Hot takes are like armpits. Everyone has two, and they both stink.”

P.S

The secret to Eastern NC BBQ is the hushpuppies. They are the ONLY thing that make it palatable. I said what I said.