Who doesn’t love the “dads” on this team? And yes there are plural. But there is only one Dad, capitalized. That would be Justin Williams. Who isn’t back with the team this season, yet. For now lets focus on the three stand-ins left in his wake on the offense.
Jordan Martinook: A “#1 Dad” Mug signed by Andrei Svechnikov
Think of how much you love Andrei Svechnikov. Now multiply that by a thousand. You are still nowhere near close to how much Jordan Martinook loves his adopted hockey son. Let us be honest, no one will ever love Svechnikov more than Marty.
This is why we are getting him a “#1 Dad” Mug signed by the young ruffian russian himself. A simple clean white mug with the text in red. Sound familiar? With the Svech signature on the backside in black. In crayon of course.
Ryan Dzingel: A Healthy Erik Haula
I know what you are thinking “wait why is Ryan Dzingel among the dads?”. Well he and Martinook are the same age, so if you are going to include one, you have to include the other. In fact there is only two other forwards older than them both and that includes Jordan Staal who is up next.
The other? Erik Haula (Who is, for the sake of this article, considered a Finn not a dad). Funny enough that is exactly what we are getting for Ryan Dzingel this holiday season, a fully healthy Erik Haula who can dish out the juiciest of passes and be that net front presence that has led the team to so many wins early this season.
Jordan Staal: Map to The Fountain of Youth
Jordan Staal is one of the best players on the team. After all, you do not get named Captain of the team without being one of the best on and off the ice. But you know what is missing from the Captain’s game? Some speed, the kind he had in his youth when he helped the Pittsburgh Penguins win the Stanley Cup in 2009.
Now only the Fountain of Youth can help him overcome his age and lack of speed. While it is unrealistic to actually give him a Fountain of Youth, perhaps a map to one would suffice. Does anyone have one of those lying around somewhere, or is this the sort of thing you can only get in Diagon Alley?