If The Carolina Hurricanes Were a 90’s TV Show

Goofball Tandem Duo

Ah yes, Fez and Hyde. These two are best buddies on That 70’s show. Often they were at the center of the jokes, making fun of each other, and getting into trouble together. Probably the two most loved characters on the show, as they did make it ten times funnier.

You must be wondering: who in the world couple fit the description of best buddies, funny, always pranking each other?

THAT’S RIGHT, you guessed it! Our beloved Dougie Hamilton and Andrei Svechnikov are Hyde and Fez.

Is it a coincidence that Hamilton has curly hair and Svechnikov has an adorable accent just like Hyde and Fez, respectively? Nope. These goofballs love each other, and share a bond that cannot be broken. Just like the show characters are famous for, not only scoring, but their friendly antics with each other. Most recently, Hamilton broke out the age-old banana phone during Svechnikov’s post-game interview.

There isn’t much else to say, really. That 70’s Show wouldn’t be nearly as great without Hyde and Fez and the same goes for the Canes! Where would we be without these two buddies? It would be a boring time in Raleigh, for sure.

Mr. Funny Guy, Mr. Handsome. Who would be Michael Kelso?

Up next on the chopping block: Michael Kelso, played by Ashton Kutcher. Why the picture with the mustache you ask? It will all make sense in a minute.

Michael Kelso was the funniest part of That 70’s Show. Also recognized as rather handsome, Kelso stole the hearts of millions with his role on this show. Every line on the show made you laugh and you just couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Now, who could this possibly be from the Canes?

THAT’S RIGHT, you know him, we love him! Mr. Jordan Martinook, or often called Marty Party.

Martinook is the heart and soul of this team. Does he score a lot? No. But giving this man the “A” on his jersey was 110% the right call from the coaches.

Jordan Martinook leads with soul and heart, and if you don’t follow him on twitter be sure to do so. He always has a smile, is always yelling and making everyone laugh. There are leaders by example, by voice, but Martinook leads by spirit. This guy never quits, and always has a positive outlook. Every team needs a Martinook, but nobody can replace the OG Marty Party.

The dad of the group, Mr. Normal, was always Eric Foreman, so which Cane is Eric?

Every friend group has a “dad” or someone who is always responsible. Eric was that guy in That 70’s Show. Since he was always hounded by his father to be a good kid, Eric almost always did the right thing. Every now and then, he would break out of his shell and try something new, but for the most part was the awkward guy who always did the right thing.

So to match this to a Canes player, who on the roster is most responsible?

Mr. Responsible for the Canes has to be, none other than Jaccob Slavin.

Slavin is the quite one that gets things done. Whenever there is a defensive break down who is there to save the day? Jaccob Slavin. The all around most solid player that Rod Brind’Amour can rely on to be shut down defensively has to be Slavin.

This being said, Slavin also doesn’t have much of a presence on social media, and isn’t regularly mixed in with the antics of Hamilton, Svechnikov, or Martinook.

Every now and then, however, Slavin does step out of his comfort zone and has a little fun. But for the most part, Slavin keeps the Canes in line and makes the most sense. He also is a new father, so he is literally Mr. Dad.

Red Foreman, Eric’s Dad, was always stubborn, bald and grumpy. Who fits this bill for the Carolina Hurricanes?

Red Foreman was quite the angry fellow. While there are not any really angry Canes, Red did also put his foot down and was very stern with the kids. He was always ruling with an iron fist and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

While some of this pent-up anger could have come from how he was raised, Red meant well and did what he had to for his family.

This has to be none other than Jordan Staal. While Joel Edmundson was a front runner due to all of his penalty minutes, Staal won the battle with his hair cut. Staal’s flow was amazing and he just had to go and cut it all off.

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But in reality, let’s take a deeper look. Staal is our captain and we stand by him. He will do whatever he can to help his teammates through tough times. Staal might not have exactly an iron fist to rule by, but he has stepped into this leadership role rather nicely, and really stepped up for the guys day in and day out since earning the “C”.

Staal probably feels a little bit of pressure to be as great as Eric was for the Canes. He probably holds this chip on his back just like Red held the chip on him because his dad was so hard on him. But at the end of the day, everyone looks up to Staal, and he does whatever he can for the guys.

Kitty Foreman, Eric’s mom, was easily the most lovable character on the show. Which Carolina Hurricane is most like her?

Kitty was always laughing, having fun, and rarely got angry. She was such a lovable character that cared for everyone and all of the kids loved her.

Kitty was not really known for her motherly role, but rather being spontaneous and spouting random lines that would make everyone laugh. So who does this on the Canes?

Hear me out on this one. Sebastian Aho. Aho is always making us laugh, from his short style interviews to his goofy faces. How can you not love this kid? Aho isn’t exactly a motherly figure, but has moments of outburst and one-liners that leave us laughing to our gut; like when he called Justin Williams “daddy.”

Aho is one of a kind and we love him for that.

So there is your crew, if they were in a 90’s sitcom based out of Wisconsin. The loss wasn’t all that much of a positive note last night so hopefully you can find some joy in this little bit.

Question for CC readers: What other show could these boys be from and who would be whom?