I haven’t even stepped foot in Vegas and I already clinched a killer interview. I had a slightly intimating chat with the mysterious Westercon Witch. Her bio on Twitter sums her up in less than 150 words:
Effing up Western Conference teams and players for many years now. Actually, I mess with anyone in the NHL.
The gorgeous witch may surprise you with some of her answers. Her shenanigans are not to be missed. Give her a follow on Twitter.
1. I’m curious, where are witches born and how were you raised?
Well, look. This can be answered many different ways. For our purposes, let’s just say I’m not that different from any other Hockey fan. Other than being able to manipulate the hell out of a situation, and sit back and try really hard not to laugh.
2. Why the Western Conference? Are you tempted to inflict the Eastern teams as well?
Western boys make my job so easy and fun. And yes, I’ve spread my chaos around. Remember that royal wedding a few months back? Did you see those stupid hats? Did you have a good laugh…Guess who suggested them…yep. My handiwork. Listen, sometimes the job is thankless. Eastern boys can get my wrath as well…But I usually stay away from the juniors and AHL…rare if I mess with them.
3. What has been your most evil deed to date?
Evil is a really strong word, don’t you think? I don’t hurt the players and I don’t ever, ever wish injury on anyone. That being said…I may have suggested to young Patrick Kane that nobody would ever know if he got half naked in a limo (Gee, there is a delete button on the cell phone camera, sweetie.) And I just listened and had to agree with Luongo that he was invincible and didn’t need to warm up or that he should go ahead and review the other team’s goalie. Who would have a problem with any of that?! What’s the worst that could happen, I told him.
4. Do you do ever use your powers for good?
I suppose you’d have to define good…I suppose so. Like everyone else, I was pretty shocked at the riots in Vancouver…I flew in and knew I had to do something…so I said to many of the bigger idiots causing the havoc, “Hey man! You need to put all this on FaceBook! Yeah…it’s ok to show your face…whatever, who’s gonna see?” And then, I did the same thing again only with Twitter. I hear the law caught up with many of these fools.
5. I noticed you are participating in the Five Hole Fantasy draft. Are you enjoying it? Are you making friends…do witches make friends?
So long as it isn’t their boy being messed with, sure. But half the time, the player (whomever it may be) sets himself up and falls into the chaos effortlessly. Your compatriot over there at FTC hates me. Thinks I’ve spent too much time on her team. She’d put a fork in my eye if she could…
6. What would you say to those aspiring to be a witch?
It’s not your area, it’s mine. You wouldn’t have a clue. Just leave this sh*t to me.
7. How did your powers get directed toward the hockey world?
This is another great puzzle…do you ever wonder how so much hockey greatness can be poured on one guy? How another NHLer can be such an idiot all the time? Well I just happen to be the Maven of Mischief. Knew it from the time I was a kid. And I won’t tell my secrets. Well, unless the price is right.